Dreams will always be better than reality. Why? We can always control our dreams. Reality can be a little tricky. Actually, reality is a whole lot of tricky-ness. Reality, unlike dreams are hard to control. We have parents, friends, governments and nature that go against our wishes.
Instead of being a successful millionaire with a model wife, a mansion and a Ferrari, you are stuck with an average office job that pays most of the bills, a nagging wife, a small-ish apartment and a junk you call a car. Reality can be really unfair at times. Just ask everyone.
However, we do have a ray of sunshine in the midst of the darkness that is our reality. It is human nature to want more than we have. Greed runs deep in our DNA. We are never satisfied with what we have, even if what we have is more than we deserve to have. Therefore, even those with the best realities will never be satisfied because their dreams will always be better.
Now ain’t that a kick when you are already on the ground. Apologies, but my point still stands. Why expect reality to be better than you dream when it never will? Repeat after me: My reality will never be better than my dreams and if it does, I am dead. Congratulations, you have just accomplished the first level in “Mission Make Myself Happier.”
Next step is to evaluate your reality. Separate the elements in which you can control from the ones that you can’t. From there, make the necessary adjustments to the elements that you can control. Certain changes could very well change your outlook in life, no matter how small they are.
Don’t like how you dress? Switch them up! Try a new look. Get some advice from a fashionable friend. The better you feel outside, the better your insides would feel. How about jobs? If you really don’t like your job now and have the chance to get a better one, why not? You spend most of the day working, might as well do that and be happy.
For the elements that you can’t control, listen to the wise words of The Beatles, let it be. Mother nature raining on your parade, literally, let it be. Friend stood you up because their ex-husbands nephew’s fish died, let it be. Parents decide to go to Hawaii and not bring you along, let it be.
At night, dream. Be the King of that European Kingdom, be the mermaid, be the billionaire but when you wake up, leave all that behind. Do not let the waters of the virtual world spill over into reality because if you do, there is no turning back. It is like entering a blackhole. There is no way out.
I think no one would be surprised if they knew that I have already planned my wedding. Allow me to share. The reception will be inside a glass building so we can see the beauty of winter. A winter wedding. The colors are deep red and silver. Check out my Pinterest for more information.
As of now, I am still single and enjoying it. For as long as I can remember, growing up included growing up, getting a job and getting married. Sometimes, it seemed like getting married was more important than everything else.
Think about it. We were raised to be obedient, to learn how to take care of the house, to learn how to cook, and to learn how to care for the young. While we are doing that, the boys are out playing, learning and exploring.
That brings me to my point today. What if boys and girls were raised without gender roles? What if both boys and girls were taught to explore, learn and also take care of a home? Will they grow up to be different from us?
Gender roles were important in the past when men were the majority of people who hunted or worked. Women were “in charge” of the home and caregiving. Now, times are different. Both women and men work. This means that the way we raise our children should also be different.
In fact, now would be the time to teach and raise boys and girls the same way. Now wont that make everything easier for everyone? No more “Why do I have to wash the dished but brother doesn’t need to?” or “Why can’t I play with dolls like sister does?” This is the time for boys and girls to be raised equally as it is for men and women to be treated equally.
The change would be resisted by many, especially the older generation. I do not blame them. Boys playing with dolls and girls playing with trucks, that is madness. Well, at least to them it is. Slowly but surely, the change will be accepted but we must take the first step towards a better future.
It seems that the one thing that was missing recently was music. I remember my days in Brickfields, KL, when I would walk to college. For about 10 minutes, I would be walking with earphones in my ear.
Today, I decided to do just that, go out and explore with my earphones in my ears. Ah, all the memories came back, hitting me like a truck!
Big Bang, one of my favorite K-pop bands had me going today. I almost danced! After that, I had some nice fried chicken. Although, KFC is not as good without chili sauce. Bummer, but the walk home made it all better.
That is the beauty of music. It brings back good memories. Sometimes, that is all we need at that time. Happiness is not supposed to be that permanent. That is why we have an array of emotions.
Tomorrow’s challenge for everyone! Find a song that brings back good memories and just bask in the happiness that it brings. You are most welcome!
They say, “Don’t force love.” That is true. Another thing we should not force is life. Sometimes, things are just not met to be no matter how much we want it to happen.
Just like how I really wanted this job and got the dreadful email that they have chosen someone else. Naturally, I was devastated. I proceeded to have lunch because only food can bring be back to the land of happiness.
Right as I took my first bite, I got a call from another job. They wanted a phone interview. I was thrilled! It is true when they say “When life closes a door, it opens a window somewhere.”
Although, there are some times where you need to fight for what you want. Fight but don’t force. There is a difference. Fight hard, but if your gut is telling you otherwise, then stop. Too much fighting can take the life out of you.
Instead, take life one step at a time. That will ensure that you enjoy every second of it. Taking two steps or more at a time is risky. You could fall down and be lower than where you started.
Life is short. Enjoy every moment. Let it flow, don’t force it. Set it free!
It started with a trip downtown to Target for a comforter. Just like any shopper, I walked in and instantly felt more alive than I did in the morning. Shopping malls can do that to a person. Someone ought to research why. For me, it was the sense that I could have it all. The possibility of “having it all” made me feel good. Who would not feel good if they had it all?
Knowing I was here on a mission to get a comforter, I made a beeline to the bedding section. In no time, I found what I was looking for and made necessary calculations in my head like a good Chinese. Once I made the perfect choice aka the cheapest one, I made another beeline to the cashier.
After exiting Target, my shopper radar alerted me to the many other shops in the area. I had to make a choice. Shop more or go home? I chose the latter. It seemed less painful for the future me. Then my tummy made a noise, like a whimper a child makes when he or she needs something. I stopped and looked around. Panda Express! I was thrilled and so was my tummy. That was a good decision.
In the train, I wondered to myself, why I felt the need to have it all. It reminded me of a friend I had that would spend money to buy a plain t-shirt with a brand name. As he said, it is a “plain and inexpensive black t-shirt”, but slap on the brand name and you have a “plain and expensive black t-shirt.”
I was baffled. He said that those who knew about street wear would understand. I thought to myself, why would I spend my hard earned money or in this case, my parent’s hard earned money to please strangers that I do not know? I would not make a difference to their lives or mine. There lies the epiphany to my question.
It is a vicious cycle. We value others by what they have and they in turn value us by what we have. That gives birth to the need to have it all and in result, be valued by others. Once I understood that, I said to myself, “Ann, the next time you look at someone or meet someone, know that their value is not in what they have but what they are.”