You Too Will Bloom

All my life, all I remember is constantly comparing myself to this one person that is always one step ahead or one level ahead of me. In every stage of my life, there will always be that one person that I am constantly competing with. Obviously, no one knew. To everyone, Ann is just that “happy go lucky girl” that is always content with that she has.
Part of that is true. Thanks mum and dad for naming me Yi En which means “contented grace.” It is true, I do not need much to be content with life. As long as I get to do what I love and I have everything a basic human needs, I am content. Sometimes, I wish I was more driven. Maybe I could have achieved more.
Other times, I am just questioning. When will I bloom like her? When will I achieve success like him? When will I be able to stop wanting? Finally, I realized that just as the flower blooms at it’s own time, so will I. Up till now, I have no regrets on the timing of my successes and failures. It has made me who I am.
Maybe it is time for me to stop looking everywhere else and start looking within me. What can I do better? What do I love? What do I want to do with my life? Focus on myself blooming and not the other flower next to me. Time is too precious to waste on someone else because every moment spent of them are moments not spent on me.

Don’t Force Life

They say, “Don’t force love.” That is true. Another thing  we should not force is life. Sometimes, things are just not met to be no matter how much we want it to happen.

Just like how I really wanted this job and got the dreadful email that they have chosen someone else. Naturally, I was devastated. I proceeded to have lunch because only food can bring be back to the land of happiness.

Right as I took my first bite, I got a call from another job. They wanted a phone interview. I was thrilled! It is true when they say “When life closes a door, it opens a window somewhere.”

Although, there are some times where you need to fight for what you want. Fight but don’t force. There is a difference. Fight hard, but if your gut is telling you otherwise, then stop. Too much fighting can take the life out of you.

Instead, take life one step at a time. That will ensure that you enjoy every second of it. Taking two steps or more at a time is risky. You could fall down and be lower than where you started.

Life is short. Enjoy every moment. Let it flow, don’t force it. Set it free!

You Are Not What You Have

It started with a trip downtown to Target for a comforter. Just like any shopper, I walked in and instantly felt more alive than I did in the morning. Shopping malls can do that to a person. Someone ought to research why. For me, it was the sense that I could have it all. The possibility of “having it all” made me feel good. Who would not feel good if they had it all?

Knowing I was here on a mission to get a comforter, I made a beeline to the bedding section. In no time, I found what I was looking for and made necessary calculations in my head like a good Chinese. Once I made the perfect choice aka the cheapest one, I made another beeline to the cashier.

After exiting Target, my shopper radar alerted me to the many other shops in the area. I had to make a choice. Shop more or go home? I chose the latter. It seemed less painful for the future me. Then my tummy made a noise, like a whimper a child makes when he or she needs something. I stopped and looked around. Panda Express! I was thrilled and so was my tummy. That was a good decision.

In the train, I wondered to myself, why I felt the need to have it all. It reminded me of a friend I had that would spend money to buy a plain t-shirt with a brand name. As he said, it is a “plain and inexpensive black t-shirt”, but slap on the brand name and you have a “plain and expensive black t-shirt.”

I was baffled. He said that those who knew about street wear would understand. I thought to myself, why would I spend my hard earned money or in this case, my parent’s hard earned money to please strangers that I do not know? I would not make a difference to their lives or mine. There lies the epiphany to my question.

It is a vicious cycle. We value others by what they have and they in turn value us by what we have. That gives birth to the need to have it all and in result, be valued by others. Once I understood that, I said to myself, “Ann, the next time you look at someone or meet someone, know that their value is not in what they have but what they are.”

Food For The Soul

Food is important. We all understand that. Without food, we die. Game over. However, the body is not the only one that needs food. Our soul needs food too. Now, just like the human body, food is a rather personal thing but here are a few that we might already know and love.

Laughter is the one food that most souls would need and want. It is like dark chocolate, sweet and bitter. The perfect combination of both. Maybe that is why we cry when we laugh. The overflowing of joy.

Peace is another type of food the soul needs but often push away. Ask yourself this, when was the last time you spent time alone with yourself? We take so much time learning about others that we often neglect ourselves.

Wonder. To be amazed is something that we do not get enough these days. When was the last time you were awed by something? Now that is a different emotion all together. It is like watching fireworks with your mouth open!

The soul is a curious thing. It is not a “one size fits all.” Take time to dig deep into yourself. There, you will find out what your soul needs.

Be Grateful!

Taking things for granted is something that we do too often. We look at what we do not have instead of looking at what we have. But today, let us all be grateful for the many things that we do have.

Be grateful for a roof over your head, the food you eat, the clothes you wear and the bed you sleep on. Think of it, there are many others out there that do not have the things that you take granted off.

Today, I was disappointed that I did not get a call from any of the jobs that I applied for. I was just moping inside. I was not happy. But then, I realized that there are so many things that I should be grateful for.

I am grateful that I have a room to stay in. I have clothes to keep me warm. I have food to keep me full. Another thing I am grateful for is life. As I am turning 24 tomorrow, I am grateful that I have lived this long.

Being grateful makes us humble and opens our eyes to the more important things in life like happiness, kindness and love. Take time to be grateful and life will seem better.

Eating Like a Boss

Eating healthy is not easy. It is the third day of the new year and I already feel like swallowing a bowl of ramen. Correction, I actually purchased some ramen on Amazon. But those are like special ones for special occasions. I promise.

But that is the beauty of life. There has to be a little bad between the good. The yin to the yang. Night to the day. You do not have to eat healthy all the time. Sometimes, a good bowl or ramen or a packet of Hot Flaming Cheetos (my personal favorite) is good for the soul.

We can get caught up with doing this so perfectly that we forget that life is about both perfection and imperfection. Once we understand that, we are able let go and live life to the fullest and not count every calorie that we take in.

Life is short. Embrace every moment. That being said, once my ramen arrives, I shall reward myself.

Do You

We hear this very often. “You do you girl!” What does that really mean? “Do what you want but make sure it is somewhat acceptable to our group of friends?” “Do what you want and we will never judge you?”

There is where everything becomes a blur. We never know how our actions will be perceived by others. So why care? You do you! I mean it!

Okay, let’s be real for a second. When I mean “do you,” it does not mean you can do anything that is illegal or harming. One must always abide by the laws of the land. Other than that, go crazy. Dye your hair pink and green, buy that ugly sweater, eat that weird food etc.

A true friend will be there for you no matter what happens. By being you, you are able to weed out the bad ones and keep the good ones close to you. Kill two birds with one stone.

To all my beautiful readers, do you and be happy! Start the New Year with the real you! Happy New Year!!


That Time Again


Knock knock! It is the New Year!

Specifically, 2018. Gosh, how time flies when you are having fun or not having fun. We can’t always have fun. Who said that? Life. But what we can do is hope.

2017 was amazing! There was snow, lots of it and then it was hot, like really really hot. There was friends, family and fun. Flew across America twice! I saw the Grand Canyons and cried a little. I studied hard, worked even harder. It was almost perfect. Here’s hoping 2018 would be better!

Hope is what I am bringing into 2018. No more “I want” or “I should” and more of “I must.” “I must” just makes it all very unavoidable, doesn’t it?

So here is a list of “I must” that I have compiled.

  • I must write

Writing has been a passion of mine ever since I could remember. Writing for me is like talking, but with more freedom. I can’t talk about how I would love these two characters from two different fictional worlds to get together and fight evil out in public without sounding like a lunatic. However, I can write them out.

  • I must cook

I love cooking. I just don’t like people watching me cook. The pressure is unbearable. Cooking for me is therapeutic. I just am in the zone when I cook. If you disagree, it means you have seen me cook. In which case, read the second line from this paragraph again. After years of watching my father and aunt cook, I am convinced that the genes have indeed been passed down to me.

  • I must exercise

I already regret writing that down. Honestly, if there is a a way for me to remain healthy without exercise, I would do it. Exercise is probably one of the things I avoid like that spider up on the wall. “It does not exist, it is not there!” But hey, I am another year older. So, time to suck it up (literally), and get my a** to the gym or yoga mat!

  • I must “get out there”

I know, that was cheating. “Get out there” can mean many things really. For me, it is about being brave and having the courage to do things that I would not do in a million years. For example, watch that horror movie and have nightmares for a week, go for a sports game, learn a sport etc.

*opens the door* Hello, 2018! Come in, I have been expecting you!

Appreciate Others

You know that giddy feeling you get when someone compliments your good works? Yes, that is very important. Everyone should feel that from time to time. Working hard and not seeing your work being appreciated really does feel terrible.

We don’t have to give everyone an award for doing their job well. Sometimes, all it takes is a small token of appreciation. You could give them a pat on the back accompanied by “Good Job!” or maybe a cup of coffee. There are many ways in which you could appreciate someone.

I know that too much compliments may lead someone to think they are invincible. But no compliments at all will lead to despair and disappointments.

A comment or two may be just what the person needs to go on with their hard work on that day. These little encouragements will get them through their hardest days. It is a wonder how small encouragements moves people to accomplish great things.

So, go out there and be generous with your appreciation of others. Appreciation is very contagious, much like kindness.  Who knows, it may come around back to you.

Explore All Possiblities

We were always told to stick to what we know. What if I told you that was not the case? We can all try new things. If we are lucky, we might find what we love. If not, then we can still keep trying.

I recently started writing fan-fiction. To those who don’t know what it is, it is basically making up stories using characters that already exists. It was something new for me. I was very excited. Then I came to find that people loved it.

Another thing is blogging. I have been blogging everyday for a while now. Having people read my blogs makes me feel happy. This is how I give back to the community. I feel that I am making a change.

Now, I am excited for the future. I am excited to try many other things. Exploring my passions is something I would love to do. So, get out there and who knows, you may find something that you love to do!